


I want to work for you

by ofiuciocontuco



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Black hat is a retired and depresive villain, Flug is a little child, Past AU, i tried to do fluff.... i'm not sure of what is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12013464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofiuciocontuco/pseuds/ofiuciocontuco
Summary: Black Hat would never recognize that he was depressed, but it couldn’t be said that he was very energetic. His discolored black and red pajamas with spots of fat, dark circles and a neglected beard denounced a bad life of self neglect and indifference.Of course, one day an opportunity came knocking, literally knocking his door with a child voice which said "I want to work for you"...





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Left_In_The_Wreckage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Left_In_The_Wreckage/gifts).



Black Hat was retired from villainy, not because he was as old as the universe, he was retired because he was bored. 

He had already done everything that was possible, even things beyond imagination. He had already killed all those who stood in his way, danced on their graves and destroyed everything morally acceptable.

Had conquered as many worlds as the number of stars in the sky. But no one explained how exhausting it could be to own a planet, perhaps because no one had gone as far as he. When a planet belongs to you, the absurd amount of responsibility began and you must take care of cities, banks and deal with bureaucracy and gold value. Eventually he got bored of that too and started to destroy all his planets because it gave him more pleasure seeing the destruction, rather than the paperwork. 

Then he got bored again, so he traveled to others dimensions and repeated the sequence.  
As a boring routine that you repeat for so long that you lose count of all the times you'd done it. Black Hat could kill all the heroes, conquer planets and then destroy them all with closed eyes.

And that was so demotivating. Life was too easy, there were no challenges, there was no taste in his victory. He was bored of being bored, the eternity had emptied everything, even evil deeds weren’t fun anymore.

So he decided to retreat from villainy while his head was high. 

It just happened in an almost natural way, he created a mansion in the shape of a hat to lock himself up with his pajamas to watch television forever while he ate countless bowls of ice cream. He always watched the news and saw how others tried in vain to conquer the world. At least, their poor attempts of world domination were a little entertaining, but not enough for the immortal to come out of his self-pity. 

Black Hat would never recognize that he was depressed, but it couldn’t be said that he was very energetic. His discolored black and red pajamas with spots of fat, dark circles and a neglected beard denounced a bad life of self neglect and indifference. 

Of course, one day an opportunity came knocking. That day started as usual (because the big changes come suddenly without being announced previously, as an annoying visitor), Black Hat was sitting on the couch watching TV when his favorite natural disaster program was interrupted by an advertisement. 

At first it seemed funny, a villain was about to kill a hero immersing him in acid, when the hero before dying asked him why he wanted to conquer the world. Black Hat was at the edge of the sofa, watching intently, waiting eagerly to hear "because I can" and see how he killed that hooded savvy. But no, the villain started a long speech about his tragic life. “Why do villains have that terrible tradition? is scientifically prophesied that if you don’t kill the hero at the first opportunity that presents itself, the hero will not only survive, will also defeat you… so why they sabotage themselves?” Said the advertising narrator as if he could read the demon's mind ”Perhaps because they’re mad… or perhaps because they are just misunderstood”. The villain recognized that he was evil because he wanted to make the world a better place and he thought that conquering it was the only way to achieve it, that he never wanted to hurt anybody, he just feel alone. And then, he released the hero and hugged him in the most senseless and pathetic embrace in all the human history, while it was the screen displayed the words "we all have a hero inside, we just need to learn how to externalize it" and the address of an Hero’s University. 

The surprise and nausea held Black Hat captive, his mouth opened with an "o" of horror as the ice cream dropped from his spoon and landed on his pajamas to join the stains that had already gathered there.

The demon's eyes turned red, his teeth tightened and the spoon caught fire.That was soo derogatory, he had never felt so insulted in his whole life. He was so indignant, he was going to show those damn heroes what happened when they underestimate the villainy! He was going to give a message that no one could misunderstood.

In a short time afterward, fire, destruction and corpses would cover the every floor and wing of the university of heroes. Like a feast of fireworks made of flesh, black hat crushed everyone with his tentacles. In the middle of the carnage, a fragile figure approached the monster and gently pulled his suit.

The demon turned to find a feeble excuse of a human with a bag on his head, he seemed young no more than eight years old. And he was wearing a big blue sweater that makes him seem even more little and insignificant.

“I want to work for you!” Whispered timidly

“You what?” The infernal creature blinked in confusion while he dropped a half body into the ground.

Black Hat approached dangerously close to him and took hold of the other's collar.

“Please don’t kill me” fat drops fell from behind the dark glasses and left stripes in the paper bag.

“So that’s why you say that, you just don’t want to die. You’re a spineless coward!”

“I’m not a coward, I’m a well hidden villain.”

“You don’t look like a villain, you don’t talk as a villain would, you don’t even smell like a villain” For a moment the nasal holes of the demon became visible “You can’t fool me that easy” sentenced furiously the eldritch creature.

“What has to does the way I smell have anything to do with villany?” inquired the little one.

“You wouldn’t understand it because you’re not a villain.” He said as he released him and folded his arms contemptuously.

“Look, I haven’t started my career yet, but I can guarantee you that I’m evil” The child nervously rose from the floor as he packed his bag and his glasses.

“Really? what’s the worse thing that you’ve ever done?” asked with an almost infantile suspicion the eldest

“I… uhmm…. I killed all the persons of a house in…-i-in…”

Black hat arched one eyebrow with surprise

“In a simulation game”

The eyebrow went down together with a look of nuisance “that was the worst thing you did?”

 

“All the people in the game had the names of all my teachers and colleagues”

Black hat buried his face in his right hand with total disapproval “that’s pathetic.”

“I’ve done more things… I steal candies, sometimes I don’t bless a person after they sneeze, I’m always jaywalking because I’m in a hurry, I keep doing it even knowing all the traffic problems that could produce… and once a companion who I hated asked me to make him a sandwich without edges, then I take advantage of the opportunity and-”

“please tell me that you poison him?”

“I-I give him a normal sandwich”

Black Hat blinked. “you what?”

“yes, I did it on purpose to get him mad”  
The demon stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath trying to calm down. He had never heard such nonsense in such a short time. He was definitely worse than the disgusting propaganda that prompted his visit.

“You clearly suck at this. I’m going to do a favor to villainy erasing your existence” The flesh of the monster dissolved, transforming into horrible shapes full of teeth, tentacles and eyes. It was as if someone had put their worst nightmares into a blender.

“NO WAIT !! ONE LAST CHANCE!” Shouted the little boy as he extended his arms in an absurd attempt to protect himself

“fine say your last words” The scribble of murderous tentacles stopped at that moment as it slowly returned to its humanoid form

Suddenly, the terrible noise of the police siren were heard, while the window was contaminated with blue and red relapagues. “Well, lucky you little brat. Saved by the bell” said the demon as he released the boy, his form dissolving like a shadow and as he entered without warning, he disappeared without a trace. “If you appear again in my way, you wouldn’t be so lucky to tell” the last words floated in the empty room, like a distant echo that enveloped the paralyzed only survivor of the building. 

It was a tragedy, the photos of the massacre were in all the channels and all the news. The world was in shock. 

Black Hat was hoping to see his name on the big screen, everybody scared of him like in the old days. But, instead of his face, he saw the face of the little boy that he had meet. The police believe that him was the murderer, they explained that he had been victim of bullying for many years so he just got his revenge. To prove that point the camera showed images of the child's room, which was all filled with explosives and guns. The demon mocked indignant in front of the screen. It was so obvious that the police planted the evidence, they needed desperate a guilty for all that mess and now the little ruffian gets all the credit for his misdeeds.  
The reporter explain that despite being a child he was locked up in a maximum security prison for his crimes. At least, Black Hat could be proud that he lived in world where the innocents always pay for the sinners. “It's good to know that you can trust in justice” chucked the demon.

And then without warning, someone knocked his door and ring the bell. The creature remained silent, he wasn’t the type of person who would have visitors. He opened the door abruptly to meet face to face with the boy who thought he would never see again.  
He was all stained with dirt and he still wore his orange prisoner suit. However, there was something about him that took away from the seriousness of it, as if he was wearing a Halloween costume.

“How did you get here? you’re supposed to be in prison!”

“You’re my hero.”

“Wrong! I’m a villain” the door closed furiously and the boy again pressed the bell and knocking. The monster sighed resignedly as he opened the door again.

“Are you still here?”

“I want to work for you!” 

“ Why do you want that?”

“If i work for you I will be a true villain.”

“You’re not a villain, you’re a pathetic good child with not enough guts for bad actions. Now go to help some old lady cross the street or something lame like that and stop bothering me”

The small porcelain hand stopped the door before it closed. “Look, I probably don’t have the character for the evilness stuff, but I have the brain to create all kinds of weapons. I can be useful!” his eyes and voice were pleading like those of a beggar or a slug dog

Black Hat laughed loudly, it was a good joke “ no” he replied as he close the door

The bell rings again with an insistence similar to the Jehovah's Witnesses.

“Look boy I didn’t kill you because you make me laugh, but you are extinguishing my patien-” he couldn’t finished his words, the little boy was pointing to his head with a strange ray gun that seemed to be stolen from an old comic of the eighties. 

“I want to work for you and you are going to hire me!” said serious the child

That was too much, even if he seem too cute to do any real harm, he was going to pay for his lack of respect. “you come here invading my property, demanding me to hire you and now you threaten me?! Who do you think you're talking to, you little twat?” the tentacles began to show dangerously.“I’m Black Hat!” the boy continues to hold the pistol nervously as the sweat trickles down his bag. “the villain of the villains” the tendrils slid down to take the child's wrists, the little one only react with a scream while accidentally releasing his weapon. “the destructor of worlds, the…” once again Black hat couldn’t finish his speech. As soon as the gun hit the ground, a powerful and blinding green light shot up into the sky. The surprise flare forced the monster to move slightly away from the boy, but he continued subjugating his small body with tenacity. There was a terrible explosion that made him look up and chased with the look how a plane fell from the heights and crashed against the roof of his mansion. Car alarms rang and dogs barked as a result to the disaster. The surprise petrified them both.

“do you know what fetus-villain? Yes, this is the start of a terrible employment relationship.”  
And so he received his sentence, with a sharp smile from the demon, beginning what would someday be the company of their lives.


	2. the contract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I edit this later but I needed to get this story out of my system and I didn't upload nothing for a while so here it's a little continuation.

A long hallway opened behind the door. The demon guided the child through the labyrinthine mansion, which was much larger and more absurd than what was seen on the outside (this is what happens when the architect is obsessed with drawing or insinuating forms of hats everywhere, even with designs of the corridors). As he walked after his new boss, the boy noticed some incredible and gigantic paintings about Black Hat where he was doing all sorts of misdeeds. A gasp of admiration escaped from his mouth when he saw the giant painting where the demon rode and looked like the Black Charro.

The monster watched the stupefied idolatry of the little one and smiled wickedly, it was time for the next step. He took his arm and made him enter into his office “Well, boy before we start with the adventure of our lives, we need to immerse in the wonderful and amazing world….” gestured with his hands theatrically “of the bureaucratic paperwork” a gigantic pile of papers fell noisily on the mahogany desk “You must sign your contract!”

“uhmm okey… “ Confusion and shyness mingled as a response. That amount of papers would overwhelm any human being.

“ I need you to sign here, here, here, and here…. “ indicated the sharp finger as the demon quickly showed the contract sheets. Black Hat had done so many times this dirty trick, he was reaching the papers to the paper bag boy with mechanical movements but he stopped his march when he noticed that after a few seconds he didn’t listen the noise of the pen against the paper “Wait... why aren’t you signing?”

“Because I’m reading the clauses”

“Are you going to read everything?” inquired with incredulity the demon

“ What are the contracts supposed to be if it is not to read them?”

For a brief instant the silence reigned in the room. The monster looked at him with wide eyes. Quickly the surprise became annoying as he buried his face in his hands

“oh no! you’re that kind of person?” He succumbed to the fatigue of his body and sat down in the office chair, he leaned his arms heavily on the desk “look boy, contract aren’t suppose to be readen, you only have to sign and mark blindly in the box that said yes, I have read and accept the terms and conditions of use"

“how do you do to own a soul?” replied the boy removing his head for a brief moment from the paper tower without paying attention to the explanation of the other

“what?”

“Here, second clause says that if I sign you’re going to own my soul” a child hand shakily remarked a small paragraph

The demon swallowed heavily. He wasn’t supposed to read the contract, nobody reads the contracts. What the hell is wrong with that child? he is going to ruin everything ... Black Hat couldn’t explain about the souls thing, that was a terrible idea, the boy wasn’t going to sign if he knows. And to make matters worse, he didn’t own his soul yet to force him to do anything. 

“ is only an expression, you can’t own something so abstract like a soul” responded without emotion, trying to stay as peaceful as possible. Just like in poker.

“ why is in a contract then?”

“Okey, i’m not going to waste my time. Are you into this or not?“ his voice was defiant, he had to remind the child who was desperate for the work, the business salesman or the boy who pointed a gun to his head for the position?

“yes, I am” The child shouted while he was getting up energetically like he could start a race at any time

“Perfect. Go ahead!” Thrilled shout the demon “Sign now and regret later“ he exclaimed as he reach a pen to the boy

“what?”

“ I mean sign now or you’ll regret it!!” quickly correct his words

“can I read my contract after sign it?”

“ Of course! all times that you want kiddo!” replied with a evil sharp smile

The boy snatched the pen from the hand of black hat, gripped it with his little nervous hand and approached the point of pen to the paper. The demon watched him carefully, while with an elegant movement cleaned the drops of perspiration falling on his brow. Finally, he was going to sign. The hand stopped its approach to the paper.

“Am I not too young to make such a big decision? I don’t know if it’s legal that an 8 years old sign a contract”

“Do you want to join to the villainy and do you pretend legality?” The demon answered with a thread of voice, trying to support his temper and not murder the child 

“well if there is not any kind of legality… why you want me to sign a contract? i mean if there’s not legality in the villany I can sign the contract and then break it….”

“not this one, it is unbreakable!” The irritation and the restlessness got hold of the muscles of his face, to such a point that the monocle cracked. 

“why is unbreakable?” asked without being aware of the danger with a naivete similar to a mouse who asks the cat "how do you keep your teeth so clean?"

“because if you break it, i’ll break your bones” he gave a furious blow to the table while a voice from the depths shook the room

The boy's small body shrank in terror as he closed his eyes so as not to see his painful death. The demon sigh tired at the sight of the pathetic human , he was going to get nothing going crazy, he had to convince him to sign. The brain of black hat was a runaway buck, what the hell had to do for a child to sign a contract? it was not supposed to be so hard

“fine, i’m going to add a clause. In thirteen years you will have the opportunity to decide whether you want to renew your contract or not? is okay for you?”

The boy shook his head pitifully as a tear trickled through his right eye. The pen settled on the paper and nervously scribbled an untidy and crooked handwriting as if it had been written by a terminally ill.

“what the hell is that?” inquired annoyed the taller one while he read the sign

“My name” 

“you can’t be a villain with a such a lame name”

“i’m sorry”

“ you should be…. let me see….” he said when he caressed his chin thoughtfully “since now you’re going to be called Flug Slys” he sentenced 

“ What?! why?”

“It means plane crash in Icelandic, is in honor to your first villain step” 

Black Hat hold the chuckles and continued with his straight face, Flug has many meanings like flicker, a small dog created entirely out of mucus and also means fuck. And that boy didn’t know how far he was fucked up. An evil sneer began to be drawn.

“ wow! you’re right!! I’ve never thought of that… and planes are so amazing!!” replied the other in wonder, with a completely happy and dreamy gaze. From now on, airplanes had become one of the most important things in his life, they were part of him, his name, his first misdeed. Now, the road appeared before him, he was going to become the greatest of the villains, the greatest evil scientist of all time.

 

“ yes, i’m glad you like airplanes because there’s not enough place for you in the mansion. So you’re going to have your lab and your room in the wreckage of the plane”

“hurray!”

“Yes, hurray! Now you must get rid of bodies and the survivors and start the constructions”

Flug's smile fell slowly “Wait… aren’t you going to help me?”

“no” answered the demon with an evil laugh as he snapped his fingers and turned into a trail of black smoke, leaving the child alone in the room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you search Flug in the urban dictionary you're going to find all kind of funny definitions, one of them is "Fuck", when i noticed that all what i could think was "Black Hat you horrible bitch!!"


End file.
